Changing Tactics for Social Impact

You don’t know how many times I ask myself what is my purpose of having and spending time on my social accounts. Most of us use it as a distraction, to see what other people are doing, follow some celebs, and find interesting stuff. It’s an personal escape via social media.

But I’ve always tried to find another purpose other than just an escape. In fact, I try to avoid using social media as a distraction because it is in fact a big distraction – and it gets addicting. I try to use my social accounts to provide some type of value, by sharing some of my knowledge and experiences, some quotes and interesting stuff.

Today I had a discussion with someone on the way I deliver my messages and posts. Even though the intention of the message is to promote positivity and inspiration, many people can take it wrong because I’m telling them what they don’t want to hear.

Everyone speaks of making the best out of life, but many never leave their comfort zone to find the extraordinary

In the quote above, my intention is to motivate people to get out of their comfort zone and create new or out of the ordinary experiences. But it can be taken wrong because I told people what they don’t want to hear. We all speak of making the best out of life, yes. But nobody wants to be reminded how they suck because we decide to stay in our comfort zone – and people can get offended.

Some of my messages, al though with good intention, are telling people what they should or shouldn’t do. My thought is that people get offended by my posts because I am just talking on a level of success – when most of us connect mainly on the struggles.

Reality is that I’m not looking to please everyone, I’m not looking to change my thinking, but I know I should be more aware of who is reading my message and word it in a way that is understood by those who I want to target. Pay closer attention to my audience.

For a long time, all I have been personally following or listening on social media is people who have achieved the level of success that I want. These people are very, very direct and they don’t tell people the nice things people want to hear, they tell what will get shit done. “Oh you are scared to start your own business? Stop being a little bitch, and make it happen.”, “Oh you haven’t reached the salary you want? Why are you not putting in the extra time to make it happen?”. That shit works for me, and motivates me to get moving, and it motivates thousands of entrepreneurs. We don’t need empathy, we need the reality.

Listening to all those entrepreneurs, business owners, and motivators has helped me a lot. But in a way, it has also screwed up my thinking on how to deal with normal people. When I try to deliver positive messages, sometimes I say “why aren’t doing this?” or “you need to do this”. My thinking is, “Okay there is a problem, and here is the solution”. But normal people don’t like that shit, they hate it because most of us hate being told what to do.

From today forward, I am going to work on changing my tactics for a greater positive social impact. I’m going to pay attention to who my audience is, which consists mostly of people who don’t own a business, people who want to do better in live, but may not be at a level of motivation or ambition that I am. It’s all about how I deliver the message. It’s about not just providing solutions, but also having empathy. It’s not about just showing success, it’s about showing struggles – which many of us have. That is how people will connect with me.

Today I was told: “Just tell people what they want to hear.” It clicked. I got it. All this time I’ve been telling people what I thought they should hear.

Changing Tactics for Social Impact

Dreams vs Goals

I can understand how there is some confusing between dreams and goals, some people use them interchangeably, but the fact is these do not mean the same thing. Knowing the difference between a dream and goal can make the difference between making your desires a reality or not. I repeat, knowing the difference between your dreams and goals, can make the difference between making your desires a reality or not.

Dreams vs Goals: A goal is a dream with a plan
Dreams vs Goals: A goal is a dream with a plan

Dreams are generally descriptions of where we see ourselves in the far future, and there may be some doubts and uncertainties inside us of wether it can be a reality or not.

Goals are plans that describe things we want to do in the short term, we have already convinced ourselves that it’s possible, and most importantly, goals have a deadline.

Another way I can describe it is that dreams are purpose driven, we all have dreams because it grows out of a purpose from somewhere inside ourselves. Goals are action driven, our actions will take us closer towards our goals.

Both dreams and goals are very important to me, and I try as much as possible to make my goals work towards a dream.

If you have a strong desire to make your dreams a reality, focus on coming up with goals that work toward that dream. Otherwise, you will become one of those dedicated dreamers that all they do is dream and never get anywhere. #classdismissed

Dreams vs Goals

Being there for your kids

6am Wake up, think about all the shit I need to do :P
6:30am Gym time, train like a MF
8:30am Breakfast, Get ready for the day
9am Play outside with Julian
9:30am Feed Julian, put him to sleep, work for 2 hours
11:30am Starbucks walk with Julian, do some reading
12:30 Lunch
1pm Drop off Julian with baby sitter.
1:30pm-?? Hustle. Hustle Hard.

As I think about my morning I remembered a conversation with a college freshman about family and money. He said he didn’t care about money, he just wanted to be there for his kids. I don’t know why he thought he had to pick between one or the other, but I let him continue.

I said that’s great, if we want a better future generation, we have to educate and raise our kids better, starting from home. But then I asked, so how do you plan on paying for your bills, and mortgage? You need money to provide your family with the basics. If you will be the primary source of income in your home, most likely you will need a full time job. How will you avoid falling into the 8-5 lifestyle and be different from everybody else? Based on his expression, I realized he didn’t think that far ahead.

I didn’t tell him what to do, but I told him what worked for me. Create a business and get it to the point where you don’t have to be present to run it. Create multiple sources of income. Work remote/from home. This is what we’ve done and we now have the flexibility to be able to spend my day how I want to with my family. We are not rich, but we have freedom to manage our schedule – not let others do it for us.

I’m sure I got him thinking. He is young, I’m sure he will figure it out if he really wants to.

Being there for your kids

High school popularity isn’t a good thing

Looking back at how things have turned out, and observing the younger generations from a different perspective, I’ve come to realize high school popularity isn’t a good thing.

I began thinking of this when my niece, who is in elementary, came up to me to tell me she wasn’t picked for a soccer team because it was only “cool girls”. I wasn’t sure how to react and respond to her comment. All I could say is not to take it personal and that is not that she didn’t get picked because of her lack of skills (she has been playing extracurricular soccer for the last 3 years), but it was because the other girls were closer friends. She responded, I know my friends and I have our own group too.

I was afraid to say something that will make her feel uncool, but I tried to say something that will make her feel better. It gave me some type of relief when she mentioned she didn’t want to be cool, because it’s just drama. I smiled when she told me, “they are fake and they get mad at each other all the time”. Well, isn’t that the truth? She is immensely smart, has a rational personality, and loves to read – things that automatically place her under the too-smart-to-be-cool group. She made several comments that she didn’t care, but I could tell she mentioned it because she was a bit hurt.

All I wanted to say was that school popularity wasn’t a good thing, but I didn’t know how to say it in a way that she will understand or without insinuating she is better than the cool kids. I was able to resist.

I guess there is always a time throughout our school years when we just want to be loved by many. It also happened to me, and got over it by the time I was in high school. Having an introvert personality, I excluded myself from many social gatherings, and it got to the point where I didn’t care for popularity, but I always cared for the attention of people I cared for.

But being in school and seeing how all the cool kids have a million friends, can date any girl, attend all the parties, and participate in several sports – who wouldn’t want to be cool?

Back then you don’t realize that high school popularity isn’t a good thing. It’s not, and it sums up to one word: entitlement.

Popular kids grow up with a sense of entitlement, and they stop trying because they feel they deserve everything without having to work for it. This isn’t my opinion, this is a fact by my experience and by observing other generations. Soon after high school, the popular kids realize that the tons of friends they had were not really friends, and that their ability to play sports peaked in high school. And they can no longer get the person they liked because they moved on to college. They never had to work hard for anything, so they just settle for a minimum wage 8-5 job. No aspirations, no ambition.

It sounds sad, but that is what I’ve noticed with several of the popular kids from my school. I don’t feel any satisfaction by seeing people with so much potential work at a fast-food restaurant – in the contrary, it’s disappointing. I don’t intend to demean people that work at a fast-food restaurant, but that is not something people dream to do when growing up. I worked at several fast food restaurants and in the fields – trust me that shit ain’t fun. Especially if the best you will be is “barely making it”, because you are living paycheck to paycheck.

On the other hand, some of the people that didn’t have much popularity in high school are the ones that seem to be at a better position after school. It also sums up to one word: struggle. There is a struggle when you have to work to get attention, when you have to practice to be good, when you plan out a date to score the person you like.

I am generalizing a lot in this, I know there are a few times that high school popularity has turned out to be good with people, but for the majority of us, not having popularity has turned out to be a lot better.

I know I will deal with this when my son is in school, all I can think now is that the moment he starts feeling popular and entitled I’m going to figure out a way to bring him back to reality.

High school popularity isn’t a good thing

My fears right now

The fear I have now is settling for average.
The fear of thinking that it is okay to give it less than 100% on things that are important to me.
The fear of making a choice and not making the best of it.
The fear of doing something not because I want to but just because other people are doing it.
The fear of letting criticism get to me.
The fear that I’ll change who I am just to make other people happy.
The fear of not feeling accomplished.
The fear that I won’t trust myself.
The fear that I won’t do something because of the fear to fail.

With all these fears, I take life day by day as if I was fearless.

My fears right now

Why does the dog put his head out the window?

Here is something I heard today, and made me think.

Why does the dog put his head out the window knowing he would get bugs on his eyes? Answer: Because he knew the ride was going to be worth it.

Some times we take risks on something and the outcome is not completely perfect. But the final reward, the satisfaction, and the experience make it totally worth it. So let’s learn from the dog this: Take calculated risks and know that when the satisfaction of the outcome is greater than the risk, it’s so worth it!

Why does the dog put his head out the window?

Where the hell is Matt?

Matt has become quite a phenomena with his cool dance. I believe he began dancing just for fun in one of his vacation trips. After a while, he was contacted by Stride Gum and was asked to travel around the world to do his dance. What a lucky guy. These videos are cool.

What I like in the videos are the very amazing places and scenic views. Just by watching the videos, I already picked out a few places I want to visit.

Matt says that even though he is not fluent in many languages, he was able to communicate with the people just with his dance. This is just to show that even though we are so different and so fart apart, we can still get together and share joy.

Dancing 2008

Dancing 2006

Where the hell is Matt?

Negotiate Lower Fees: 24 Hour Fitness & Comcast

This morning I called 24 hour fitness and I asked to cancel my membership since I have not been attending the gym for about 2 months. My monthly rate is $24.99 for an ‘all gym access’. This is actually a very good rate since I know a couple of friends that pay $35+/month for the same membership.

After I told the agent I wanted to cancel my account, she offered to put it ‘on hold’ for a monthly rate of $7 and I won’t have to pay sign up fees when I decide to come back. I told her I didn’t want to keep paying money for services I wasn’t going to use so I insisted to cancel it. Once again she offered another ‘seductive’ deal: Lower my rate to $15 a month and keep the same membership. I don’t think I know anybody paying such a low price for a gym membership – and specially for 24 Hour Fitness.

I told her: “How about I put my account on hold until I have little more time available to use the services and when I decide to come back, just give me a $15 monthly rate.” She agreed! She even added in 1 month free!:)

Most companies out there charge as much as they can for their service. In order to keep customers satisfied, companies give customers who want to cancel a lower rate in order to keep their business.

Comcast (EXPENSIVE) is another company that lowers rates for people that want to cancel. Comcast’s standard cable Internet fee is $40+ and I have managed to keep it between $19-25 a month. Sometimes you just gotta ask for it.

Moral is: Don’t always pay what they ask for. Negotiate a better deal.

Negotiate Lower Fees: 24 Hour Fitness & Comcast